Father's Day

This weekend was Father’s Day. The first Father’s day since my Father died. I miss him so much I really don’t know how to deal with it. I didn’t deal with the day very well at all. I tried to ignore it for the weeks prior to it, but everyone seemed to want to go on with the day and celebrate anyway regardless of my wishes. I pretty much dropped out for the day. I had very little contact with anyone and pretty much sat in my room.

I regret every father’s day I didn’t make him feel as special as it was to me. I hate the times in my teenage selfishness I forgot to even call to tell him I loved him or grumbled about even changing my plans a little to have lunch with him. I didn’t think about my father every day when he was here. I took him for granted; I thought he would always be there. I knew I had him there as a safety net that no matter what he would be there to bail me out of any real trouble if I ever got in any. Now that he is gone, I think about him every day. I think about how much he truly loved me and how he would have done anything to make me and my sister happy. Nothing hurt my father more than seeing one of us hurt.

I hope one day I am as good to someone as my Father was to me.